watch out for those mofo winds

i was reading the public advisory for ivan yesterday, and it occured to me that "gusts' may not be the best term when the maximum sustained winds are already up to 160 mph. i mean, gusts cause your hat to fly off your head, not the roof to fly off of your house. do you see what I mean? gusts just isn't a menacing enough word.

i raised this point with several of my eas friends, and here are our suggestions for what they could rename hurricane "gusts" as:

- death bursts - conveys the menancing nature of the winds and is a little more scientific sounding i suppose, but would probably scare the shit out of people, which is probably why we don't work for the nws

- "sustained winds at 160...knock-you-on-your-ass winds up to 200" - this one's funny but really, i think the sustained winds would've knocked you on your ass on their own

- you're screwed winds, give up winds, why the hell haven't you evaculated yet winds, uber winds, flying cow wind - all funny, probably not usuable though (not that any of these really are)

- mofo winds - i think this one is my favorite - gets the idea across, sounds more menacing, but not so much so that it would really scare people (though, when the winds are getting upwards of 160 mph, you should be pretty damn scared, or you know, have left the area)

- jesus gusts, like jesus handles on your car - heh.

man, we are so dorky.